Why People Get Divorced

I have a pretty wonderful husband and relationship and could never imagine what would ever make us fight - we don't...ever! But, after having a baby, I now know why people have issues.

#1 - You are both sleep deprived and therefore punchy 100% of the time
#2 - Neither of you are the people in the wedding photos - well rested, groomed, showered, etc
#3 - The casseroles/pre-made dinners stop coming at some point and you are forced to feed on whatever takeout is close which makes getting baby weight off near impossible
#4 - One of you goes back to work and asks one of two forbidden questions: What did you do all day? Can you get up with the baby because I have to go to work?

What do you mean what did I do all day? I know that you cannot tell from the house that looks like an episode of Hoarders or from the take out boxes from this week's dinners, but I WORKED ALL DAY! I fed, changed, pumped, changed, fed, changed....your baby all day. So sorry I didn't put myself together and walk out of the door, but I worked. And another thing - "No! I can't take a nap, so don't even think you aren't getting up in the middle of the night!".

I love my husband, but he knew those two questions would be the end of him, yet he was compelled to ask them anyway. I may or may not have given him the silent treatment as his penance, although he would probably tell you that was a welcomed break for him :)

The Things No One Tells You

So on May 23rd my lovely little boy was discharged from the hospital...now begins the fun part. What the heck do I do with this child now that I have no help?

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to finally be done with trips to the hospital 6 times a day, but now Jeff and I are responsible for all these tasks with a baby who was just released from the NICU...scary stuff.

Not only that but I'm a roller coaster of emotions. One minute I'm euphoric over being a mother the next minute I'm sobbing over my coffee because I just watched the coffee commercial where the daughter tells her dad she is getting married - I thought those hormones were done with!

I'm so stoked to finally be able to eat what I want to, but all the things that I love make my kid have gas....so back to a bland diet because after 1 week of being home, I was making my kid a bloated mess through my breast milk. Not to mention that my bladder shot so every time I sneeze or laugh I pee myself.

You also hear these stories about how women wear their own jeans home after giving birth...BS! I was still in maternity pants and about 2 sizes bigger than my pre-pregnancy body. While visiting the hospital, several people asked me when I was delivering and if I was having twins...You know what people? I don't have a rubber band body and it doesn't bounce right back. Keep your yap shut!

Chase wasn't able to get nursing down because of the feeding issues we had, so I was pumping to a bottle. Nothing is hotter than a mom pumping herself with two cones on her chest 8 hours out of the day. My poor husband continually asked, "Where is that woman in the wedding pictures" because all he saw was a sleep-deprived human cow...but I love my son so I did what I had to do. I pumped for 2 months until there was really nothing left to pump. I tried and I failed at something that is supposed to be so "natural"...I felt bad for a while, but nature just wasn't on my side for that one, so all you mom's who have trouble. Try to let yourself off the hook, although it will be tough for you.

NICU

For moms and dads who have had children in the NICU - you understand when I say that its both a curse and a blessing. My little man had an 15 day stay but it seemed like a year. Everyday in and out of that place holding your breath as alarms sounded wondering what they meant and when can you take your baby home.

Chase alarmed just after they started thinking about discharging him and starting to do all the things necessary to process him out. The alarm was a mandatory 7 day stay. Although that news was like a punch in the gut, I knew that he needed to be there.

The nurses love those babies like they are their own and they comfort parents when they cry hysterically. You form bonds with the other parents because unless you experience watching your child hooked up to all those machines/wires and struggling to do things that come naturally to full-term babies, you truly have no idea how heart-wrenching it is.

I was discharged the Wednesday following Chase's birth. I was barely able to walk because my limbs were so out of practice. Although I was beside myself when the couple in front of us in the parking line was taking home their newborn, I was thankful that when I came turn for Chase to be released, I was ready to fully take care of him. I don't know that I would have been able to otherwise.

We had a lot of firsts in the NICU - the first bath, the first bottle, the first time the grandparents got to hold him. It wasn't the ideal location for these firsts, but they were joyous nonetheless.

So NICU staff - thank you for the love, support and compassion you showed to me and my family. I cannot thank you enough for all you did.

"Baby Day"

So back to my story. "Baby Day" as it was so named by my OB started at 6:20am. I sprung my 7th leak (must be my lucky number) and the docs thought that it was no good to wait any longer and I was simply a "ticking time bomb". So around 8 am they started to prep me for surgery and move me out of my room that had been my home for 5 weeks.

At 9 am I was wheeled to the c-section operating room. No one prepares you for that experience. I watch my fair share of medical shows and all the ORs seem to be intimate, dim and somewhat non-threatening. That is false! The room was huge, with crazy fluorescent lights and tons of masked people running around like crazy people.

I had an anesthesiologist, nurse anesthetist, OB nurse, a resident, my OB, the NICU nurse practitioner and nurse all huddled around me. The room was frigid and I was scared. Then they tell me I have to calm down for my spinal - haha yea right. I managed to keep my sobs to a minimum while they hunched me over and numbed me up. Jeff was not able to be in the room until they were about to make the incision so I'm there with all these eyeballs and no comforting faces.

So I'm  numbed, they lay me down, put up the curtain - which is literally right under your chin...awkward. They bring Jeff in then in his hazmat suit and set him down next to my outstretched (and bound) arms. They start poking me with a pin to see if I can feel anything. I can't...yet.

In the meantime, my anesthesiologist comes back in the room (he was whisked away previously by a page) and says "Let's get you your spinal." - Oopsy there is a problem. All the sudden he starts yelling at my nurse anesthetist right behind my head. I'm strapped down, freezing cold, can't feel half of my body and these two wonderful humans start a cat fight. Now I'm wondering who screwed up and will I feel my feet again! I ask what's up - as I begin to bawl terribly out of fear - and they reply that everything is peachy. Right, like I don't have ears.

So they make the incision, I was like this is a piece of cake. Well then they got their hands all up in there and that's when me and my nurse anesthetist became friends. I felt A LOT! The poor guy had to listen to me yelp over and over, but the nice man gave me quite a bit of drugs to top me off. God bless him!

Then I hear my doctor trying to coax my little bundle out of my body, with "C'mon Chase..." not feeling very good about that. Finally, we hear crying. At 9:46am on May 8 my baby boy was born! He came out with a full head of hair and peeing all over himself. They whisked him away to the bin where they started working on him. My poor little guy (we would find out later) was born with a partially collapsed lung, a PFO and another P acronym that I can't remember. They had to start him on oxygen immediately. I never got to hold my baby when he came into the world.

So off to the NICU goes Chase and they still have to stitch me up. I could have really done without that, but on top of not knowing what was going on with my kid, I was a mess. I still had an hour in the recovery room ahead of me before I could see my sweet baby.

Surgery goes well, and the recovery room is my least favorite place. They come in and press down (hard) on your abdomen several times to make sure your uterus is shrinking back. Well mine was saying get the hell away from me at that point. But at least the baby boy was holding his own!

Chase - from the Beginning

So like I stated in my earlier post, I have some catching up to do to introduce you to my son Chase. I found out that I was pregnant on October 9, 2009. Jeff and I were married less than 5 months, but we were ready to start a family. Our new baby was set to arrive in June 2010.

The first 20 or so weeks of my pregnancy were flawless. No throwing up, no nausea, just got fat pretty much from the start! I am a high school basketball coach at my alma mater and made it through the entire season kicking and screaming at officials!

My 20 week ultrasound revealed a marginal placenta previa - where your placenta lays close to the opening of your cervix (as well as having a baby boy). All was still good as like 95% of cases clear up naturally before birth. Alternative was C-Section...YIKES!

The next couple of weeks were pretty uneventful except for a 26 week follow up ultrasound that showed no progress on the movement of my placenta - the c-section was looking more and more likely, but hey I thought as long as everyone's healthy who gives a hoot.

In late March - as I was really looking rotund, I went to Washington, DC for a business meeting. That night I sprung a leak and was hospitalized. That pesky placenta was refusing to cooperate and was now completely lying over my cervix. Doc told me I was a freak of nature - exactly what a hormonal, crazy, fat pregnant lady wants to hear while she is in a strange city in the hospital by herself!

I was there for 2 days and they finally released me to strict bedrest at home. I was 27 weeks so that meant I had 12 weeks of being a couch potato ahead of me. Oh wait, the best part is that 2 days later I found out that I had gestational diabetes so no doughnuts, cake, bread - oh wait all the things I love - for 13 weeks. Awesome! Can't move, can't eat, and yet still watched myself get fatter by the minute.

12 days of home bedrest down and a interesting low-carb Easter dinner in my belly - I spring another leak. This one lands me in the hospital for the duration of my pregnancy. GREEEATTTT! 10 + weeks of hospital diet food, no DVR and pesky nurses poking at me at all hours of the night.

Needless to say, it was not a relaxing vacation. I sprung 5 more leaks until it was all said and done. My doctors told me to keep baking the little man, and I was trying, but he was just ready to enter the world. So, even though they were holding out for a 36 week C-Section. Chase decided on the morning of May 8th, that he had enough of his cramped quarters. At 6 am, I sprung leak lucky #7 and the doc said its "Baby Day".

Uh oh, I'm a blogger

I'm not the most technologically savvy person in the world, nor am I the most creative wordsmith, but I have now embarked in the world of blogging.

I'm a new mommy as of May. My son, Chase, was born on May 8, 2010, and figured although I am slow at getting started, now was as good a time as any to start to track my life as a mom, a wife, and a professional.

Things will probably start to get hairy around here soon, since I just came back to work this week, but I'm excited to see how things go.

So fasten your seatbelts and enjoy reading about my ride.